Dolan and Spiritual Fatherhood
Warning: Mini-rant ahead. (I incorporated some of my comments below and did some editing to more exactly communicate what I intended to say.)
That's how the New York Times described the new Archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan. Warm. Joyful. Dare I say it? Extroverted. Take at look at the lead photograph. When was the last time you saw a bishop in mid-belly laugh? In front of the media of the world? (Actually I saw Cardinal George do something very like that after he knew but just before it was announced that he had cancer. But it was in private. )
The fascinating thing is that all over St. Blog's - across the spectrum, on the right and the left, people seemed shaken into something like hopefullness by the match of this man and this position.
I know I am.
I've never met Archbishop Dolan but I've met enough of a very different kind of bishop. And watched their excruciatingly painful interactions with their clergy and staff over the years. I'm not saying that these struggling bishops make up the majority by any means, but neither are they unique or extraordinarily rare tragic figures.
Some had destroyed their relationship with their priests within weeks of taking up residence by doing things so interpersonally stupid that it beggars the imagination. Doing stuff that would almost certainly sever the relationship with one of us if he were merely an ordinary man. Stuff that destroys trust. Stuff that is completely pointless and unnecessary. Like humiliating pastors in front of their congregations, for instance. A textbook way to set the right tone for the future.
The irony is that some of these men are the bishops that Catholics around St. Blog's tend to lionize for drawing lines in the sand. If they had witnessed what I have witnessed, they would realize that some of their heros are impotent shells because they have thrown away the trust and affection of their people. Even that of the most theologically orthodox, the ones most willing to cut the Bishop slack out of respect for his office.
It is most painful to watch when you sense that the Bishop is a decent man and a true disciple but also an emotionally under-developed man who literally doesn't know how to relate to others. A basically good man who should never, ever, have been put in such a relentlessly public position, no matter what his theological or administrative qualifications.
Grace does build upon nature. Even the grace of office. Spiritual fatherhood is a real relationship. Not a concept. Not a diagram. Not a strategic position in a cold culture war.
I don't think Archbishop Dolan is unique. But he is hardly a dime-a-dozen and I do think his interpersonal style makes a wonderfully refreshing norm. And I can think of several dioceses off hand whose leaders and people would get down on their knees and thank God if they thought that a few Dolan clones were in the pipeline.
I know that in a communion of 1.2 billion people, we have men who have both the theological and relational moxie to be good bishops.
That is why I am so thrilled by the wonderful work done the Institute for Priestly Formation in Omaha (and have blogged about it here). IPF focuses entirely as aspects of seminarian formation that is sometimes get less attention: a lived love relationship with God, human formation, the integration of spiritual and emotional health, and understanding the priesthood as a true, highly relational fatherhood. I’m delighted that 1/3 of the seminarians in the US are participating in IPF programs.
And because it is my hope that in the next generation of bishops, what I described above *will* be extraordinarily rare.
And because it is my hope that in the next generation of bishops, what I described above *will* be extraordinarily rare.
Thank God for Archbishop Dolan. May he be the first of many more warm, holy, and appropriately gifted bishops in our midst. St. Frances de Sales, pray for Archbishop Dolan. And for us.
posted by Sherry W @ 7:37 AM
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6 Comments:
How many bishops have you met, Sherry?
John
Well, I've worked in 94 dioceses so I've met quite a few now. I haven't kept count.
One of our former teachers in training is a bishop now. (I used joke that singles who signed up to be Called & Gifted teachers could count on getting married because so many of them did. When one of our own was unexpectedly raised to the episcopacy, i thought of having a similar joke about becoming a bishop but quickly discovered that most priests dread the thought of becoming a bishop and considered it no kind of incentive at all.)
Which is not the same as having witnessed a bishop's interactions with their clergy and staff. Obviously, that is a smaller number.
And then i hear lots of stuff cause people talk to outsiders whom they know won't quote them. Sometimes I've been present and witnessed an incident itself. Sometimes I've been present and witnessed the aftermath.
And then there is my desire to get a better sense of some "star" bishops and so I ask locals who are connected and well-disposed and get carefully bland, flat "nothing" responses that I find puzzling and ultimately unsettling.
I long to hear genuinely enthusiastic responses which is what makes the spontaneous joy about Archbishop Dolan's elevation so refreshing.
Hi Janice/Linda/Stephen Florent/Gina (your aliases are without number but you always post from D.C. and always on the same topic and there is almost always a personal slam involved):
I took up your challenge and looked back at the last two months + of posts since December 19 (since you said that you had only been reading a "couple months"!) to see exactly what I had posted about and more specifically what posts if any I had made about priests, bishops.
I quickly scanned all 76 posts. 16 posts about Advent and Christmas. Several about evangelization. Three specifically about priests, one about martyrs, three on missions, 1 on campus ministry, etc.
There wasn't a single negative comment about clergy or bishops or dioceses anywhere except for this one.
In fact, all the references to clergy and religious were glowing. Fr. Tom Kraft's heroic grace in life and death. Fantastic pastoral creativity in campus ministry in Boulder, in parish ministry in London. How the love of Franciscan sisters transformed the life of one of the 20th centuries most faithful evangelists. My wonderful experience in Corpus Christ with everyone, including bishops and priests.
Effective RCIA programs. Catholic martyrs, Scripture, the new Vatican you tube site.
But none of those apparently got your attention.
I notice that you have never once, in the two years that you have haunted this blog under innumerable aliases, acknowledged or ever mentioned any of the many hundreds of positive posts we have done here.
You only comment when you find a opportunity to sing the only song you seem to know.
Joe:
My irresistible first response is *you were there?* :-}
On a serious note:
Joe, believe me. I badly, badly, BADLY *want* to witness and hear wonderful or at least positive things about our Bishops. I certainly went into this work with the assumption that I would.
And I am the first to LOUDLY proclaim to the world when I hear good things:
LIke my recent piece here on Corpus Christi, my many strongly positive comments about Atlanta, my many attempts to share (on Mark Shea's blog) the good things I encountered before we started ID.
I wasn't making a comprehensive statement about the US Bishops. I have never said (or thought for that matter) that what I described is true of the majority. I've haven't met the majority for one thing, much less witnessed their interactions with their people, and I have never dreamed of trying to put numbers to it in that way.
However, what I described is real. It has taken years of encounters and listening to people for me to realize that I was witnessing a true pattern in ecclesial relationships. Not the only pattern, of course but not simply the unique or extraordinarily rare tragic figure either.
And I certainly don't think Archbishop Dolan is unique. But he is hardly a dime-a-dozen and I do think his interpersonal style makes a wonderfully refreshing norm. And I can think of several dioceses off hand whose leaders and people would get down on their knees and thank God if they thought that a few Dolan clones were in the pipeline.
That is why I am so thrilled by the wonderful work done the Institute for Priestly Formation in Omaha (and have blogged about it here). IPF focuses entirely as aspects of seminarian formation that is sometimes get less attention: a lived love relationship with God, human formation, the integration of spiritual and emotional health, and understanding the priesthood as a true, highly relational fatherhood. I’m delighted that 1/3 of the seminarians in the US are participating in IPF programs.
Because grace does build upon nature. Even the grace of office. And because it is my hope that in the next generation of bishops, what I described above *will* be extraordinarily rare.
Hi Sherry,
I've only been reading your blog for a couple of months and I've gotten some good ideas from it. But with respect to this post, I think it did sound pretty general and condemnatory. I know some bishops, too. And some of them aren't extroverts, but they are well regarded in their dioceses. I'll mention a couple of them. Bishop Olmsted is an introvert, but quite well liked in Phoenix. Similarly, Archbishop Beltran of Oklahoma City is a decent, holy man, but probably not extroverted, although his devotion and charitable work make him beloved.
I think sometimes you can take too much on faith when you listen to people talk. No one ever thinks a priest or bishop listens to them enough or is friendly enough or interested enough in them or their particular causes. I know certain bishops, like Cardinal Egan, have justly earned their reputations as uncivil and rude, but, for the most part, I think priests and bishops do their very best to meet all expectations. But the fact that they can't doesn't indicate a lack in them; it means that people are placing unrealistic demands on them. You might be one of them. Sometimes, bishops have to say "no." And not all demands are realistic or worth their time. And not every priest makes legitimate demands. But you also don't have to believe everything you hear.
One question I do have is: why you think it helps to express such sentiments? Especially since you didn't mention any names, but just let it hang out there as a general accusation.
You seem awfully critical about the Church in general. When you were growing up, did you have bad relationships with nuns and priests or something? Because, for all the good you do, you seem to have a real chip on your shoulder.
Lucy Arthur
Sherry,
I simply must disagree with your broad assessment of American bishops. While Archbishop Dolan is certainly one of the most remarkable men in the American Episcopate, and is a genuinely warm, happy man (I have met him), he is certainly not the first (even in New York!) or only such bishop in the country to be so. Yes, all bishops are not perfect and a very many of them have evident difficulties or shortcomings in certain areas, but in no way is it fair to suggest that a majority or even a significant plurality are lacking "relational smarts" or struggling with spiritual fatherhood as you suggest. There is much that could be done to reform the American Episcopate and the American Church, but I do not think that the picture is as bleak as your post suggests.
I think Archbishop Dolan will be wonderful, but if he is he will simply be following in that venerable tradition of the great Archbishops of New York who have preceded him (Cooke, O'Connor, Hughes, etc).
Indeed, St Francis de Sales, pray for all bishops and may Mary, Queen of Apostles accompany them in their ministries.
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