Sharing is Caring!
Apologies for being scarce yesterday. In addition to job searching, I'm working on a number of short stories and novel proposals that require a certain committment to making a daily word count--something that I've been shirking as I let loose my words here at ID :)
Anyway, I've mentioned that over at Catholic Sensibility the conversation has also turned to discernment. In response to a question about who gives someone the authority to help someone else discern their gifts and vocation, Neil wrote a rather profound post. I'd like to quote some of it here and direct you over to the Discerning the Discerners thread for more:
The “authority” of someone who assists in discernment comes from their ability to see things for what they are - to identify a right course of action that “follows from” Scripture and tradition. Such a person is able to show me that a particular action or way of life would reflect the character of the God who called me and the character of the Body of Christ to which I belong (Rowan Williams’ words), and, if I were to carry out that action or proceed on that way of life, I would be more faithful to my real identity as a Christian.
This person isn’t just telling me about my own future. She is saying that I might manifest Christ if I follow a certain path, and this is a gift to the entire community. She is implicitly agreeing to look for Christ in my life and to receive the gift that I might eventually give. Thus, she is, in a way, telling me about her own future. Discernment, then, is about a shared future in which we might both participate.
In short, perhaps we should look at discernment as a process of sharing …
Discernment as a process of sharing does, I believe, get to the heart of that discipline. It is a means by which we can help others become more truly who God made them to be. It can't be something that we do from our pedestal of perfection. Rather, we need to walk together, to be in "com-union" with those whom God has ordained we will journey.
The expectation is not just that I will help you, but that you will be an indispensable part of my own discernment process. I can't tell you how relieved I was when the pastoral staff at my last parish helped me realize that my gifts weren't directed toward administration (which had become the single biggest drain upon me as Confirmation Coordinator). They helped others who could handle the administrative load with supernatural efficiency connect with me.
The result was confirmandi who were well formed and prepared for the sacrament, and a rather well-balanced, not frazzled me. I could have been upset when they (gently) removed the administrative piece of Confirmation away from me, but they did so as they affirmed my other gifts. It was an eye-opening experience for me and has colored how I approach discernment as a discipline.
What I often see in conversations regarding discernment is people highlighting how that discipline can be abused and then using that as the reason why it shouldn't be undertaken at all. But abuse certainly doesn't invalidate the principle.
If we act like it does, we'll be missing an integral piece to living out our communal and individual mission as Christ (through the Church) asks us to.
posted by Keith Strohm @ 9:26 AM
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After fifteen years in pastoral ministry, I can say that I have met and loved many, many good Catholic men and women. Among them were people who were prayerful, who just “showed up” at Mass and other sacraments, who did good works, and one day imploded. One woman suddenly divorced her husband of 15 years, left her children, and married a professional baseball player. Others left and joined Evangelical churches because they thought no one cared about them in their parish. Others struggle silently with illness, fear, unemployment, addiction because they live in a popular Church culture saturated with an American “go it alone” attitude.
As I look at my life, especially my life of faith, I find that I benefit tremendously from being able to share my journey with others. Even though I’m a strong introvert, I still tend to talk to others about things - and especially people - that are important to me. When I receive good news, you can bet I tell others about it, even people I don’t know very well. I’m not saying everyone should be charismatic, or extroverted, or say, “Praise God” at the end of every sentence. I do believe, after studying the Scriptures and many documents from our popes and bishops, that every Catholic should ask themselves - if talking about their relationship with Jesus sounds odd - the question, “WHY?” Especially since Jesus says “Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my heavenly Father. But whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father…Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.” (Mt 10:32-33, 37-38) Jesus seems pretty adamant about the importance of making him the priority of our life, and the significance of sharing that relationship with others.
Sandwiched in between that is this prediction, which may, in part, explain why we may be afraid to speak of our faith. “Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. For I have come to set a man ‘against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’
Perhaps we value peace (at the cost of not evangelizing) rather than helping others encounter Christ and His Body, the Church.
A couple of thoughts on AUTHORITY, which Neil mentioned above - The etymological roots of the word have to do with “causing to grow,” which has obvious ramifications when we speak of parents’ authority over their children. In religious life (of which I’ve been a part for 23 years), superiors are given a tremendous responsibility regarding the deepening of the faith and the personal development of the friars over whom they’ve been given authority. Otherwise, the role of the superior could be seen as 1) simply doing what the community or individual friar wants, rather than challenging the community and individuals within it to grow or 2) being a permission to impose my will upon others.
Authority is seldom seen as a call to help others grow, and even in those situations where it is, it is rarely exercised. One reason for this is most of us avoid the pain associated with growth - and don’t take kindly to those who offer us the opportunity!
Also, it’s important to note that authority is given by another - in the case of religious life through the agency of the friars themselves - both when the superior is elected, or appointed by the Provincial and his council. But even in these situations, the superior is only (or should be) an instrument of God, Who is the true giver (really delegator) of authority.
In the case of the lay Catholic, you receive authority, power and jurisdiction to stand in Jesus’ place for others by virtue of various offices you might be given that flow from baptism, confirmation, matrimony. Examples of offices a lay person might have include the office of spouse, parent, godparent, RCIA sponsor, and Confirmation sponsor. But even beyond these offices, we can be instruments of God in helping others to grow. I believe we should look for opportunities, and invite others to help us grow in our faith and in the discernment of our gifts, both spiritual (charisms given for the benefit of others, as mentioned in the post) and natural. Because in the discernment of spiritual gifts, for example, three areas have to come together: how I feel when the charism is called forth (am I energized, is it at all prayerful, for example); what actually happens (are people learning, being encouraged, experiencing the mercy of God, etc.) and what kind of feedback to people give me (both direct, verbal feedback as well as indirect or behavioral feedback).
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